Drug-dealing shark caught red-finned after speeding

A great white shark that moonlighted as a drug dealer has been accidentally caught "red-finned" as he was pulled over for speeding by a mobile aqua speed camera unit.

The offending fish (seen, above, with the mobile unit and their cameras) was flashed doing 46mph in a 30mph zone. However, when the shark was pulled over, the traffic cop noticed a pouch stashed underneath its tail.

The pouch contained several grams of cocaine, blocks of cannabis, and amphetamines. The shark was promptly arrested.

PC Tom Wankbank said: "This really was a lucky catch. We thought we were just giving out another speeding ticket and it turns out that the shark's a drug dealer, possibly selling to baby sharks in the area."

It is thought that the shark obtained the drugs indirectly from notorious druglord, Juan Pablo Dorito, after he and his £50 million yacht, containing more drugs than Lloyds' pharmacy, sank during a bitch of a storm.

This is the traffic cops' first real slice of action in the depths of the ocean since they launched the "Aqua Camera" scheme, which was set up to tap into sealife's unfathomed pockets. The traffic cops place themselves in a secure steel cage and use a special underwater radar camera to flash oncoming fish.

However, most of the potential speeders are a little wiser than initially given credit for.

"Most fish tend to keep below the limit when we're around, thanks to their built-in radar so we don't get much to put toward the Christmas Party fund," Wankbank explained. "The scheme was in danger of being terminated before this drug-bust, so hopefully we can keep it going a little longer."

What do you think of the Aqua Camera scheme? Is the whole campaign worth the fact that a drug dealer is in custody, or is it just another form of stealth tax? Give us a call on 07813 775610.

Go on. You nobs.