Superman's child falls to death after flying too soon

Billy Superman, son of international hero, Superman, has died after trying to fly before passing his test.

Young Superman, seen, left, in his costume, fell to a screaming death after jumping off his dad’s roof when he mistakenly thought he was ready to fly. He was just weeks away from his fifth birthday.

His iconic father was understandably upset when he stepped outside the house to investigate the terrified shrieks only to see his son’s impression of a dropped pizza.

“I can’t believe little Billy is gone,” Superman said. “He wanted to fly and fight crime so badly. All he cared about was passing his flying test and following in my footsteps.”

Superman’s grieving process was cut short just minutes after being interviewed when he had to go and rescue some badgers that had got mashed on crack and locked themselves in Bernard Manning’s toilet.

Billy had been practising his flying skills for the past few weeks but was eager to experience the sensation of flying – despite only having a handful of lessons.

He then made his way to the top of his father’s four-storey house and flung himself off the top in the vain hope that he’d be able to imitate his famous father.

Police confirmed that there was no alcohol, drugs or Kryptonite in his system.

Superman expert, Chris Cockbox, explained that had Billy been a few years older he would have survived the fall.

“Billy was born on Earth, not Krypton, so his father’s powers would not have immediately transferred into him,” Cockbox said. “It takes time.”

One thing’s for sure – Billy was a thick little fucker. I mean, if you’re not sure whether you can fly, don’t jump off a four-storey building. The ground’s probably a more sensible, and indeed safer, option.

Idiot.