Greetings, fellow fact-finders

Hello to anyone fadged enough to have found their way to the site that the fatcats of this world want to shut down. I, like you all, want the REAL news. The news that matters. The stuff that happens to Ghetto Bob and Funky Cheese. The info that is kept from us because it's just too goddamn monged to be heard by anyone with eyes.

My source is a man so secret, he doesn't actually exist. He does not physically exist. Trying to get in contact with him is harder than Noel Edmonds watching animal porn.

Providing I'm not struck down by an angry bin or cut in two by a bowl of jelly, I'll post the news that doesn't get broadcast by those crypto-fascist TV networks.

So, cool the cucumbers, put the shark to bed and prepare to get so monged that you'll find you can fly with the headlines that are no longer "hush-hush" - more "Kate Bush".

Anyway, midnight is nearing and so are the wolves with their oppressive dildo beating sticks. So, sadly, I'll have to cease transmission until next week.

Keep it silly.